My Problem with Pain
Pain comes in a variety of ways and it all starts at the beginning of our life. Granted we don’t remember those painful moments of infancy, but our older family members do. For instance, right now I am listening to my five month old niece cry in her sleep because she has an upset stomach. She is too little to understand the workings of her digestive system and she hasn’t quite figured out how to cope with the pain of it. From a very young age, we begin to experience and deal with both physical and emotional pain. Although I will say that most of my emotional pain came after puberty, which in itself is a conundrum.
Can’t all pain be conquered by your mind? Mind over matter? When I was younger, I would have thought this impossible. I remember when I broke my ankle, the pain was unbearable. I was in agony for months. A few years later I broke my foot, but playing in a championship soccer game seemed more exciting than sitting on side lines, so I played, broken foot and all. A few years after that, when I broke my arm, I spent 9 hours in urgent care, in pain, but laughing and joking with my mom, only to go snowboarding three days later. I fully understand that these stories are more reckless than anything else, but I was able to overcome the physical pain of my situation as I got older.
The emotional pain is worse. It’s not something you can fix with an ace bandage, some ice and a vicodin. The emotional pain rocks the core of who you are and it can lead you down dark paths of irrational thinking, in hopes that there will be a way out. The sad thing is, there isn’t an easy, quick way. Some emotional pain is obviously worse than others. A few years ago, I would have said that a breakup was one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone, but since then, having experienced something far more painful, I would say there are worse things. I don’t deny the loss of love and I still fully believe that it is one of the worst moments of a person’s life.
That song, “Love Hurts” is true. From the inner workings of a marriage to unrequited love, it hurts. This is the pain that gets you to question yourself, which can ultimately lead to your success or your downfall. Seems harsh, I know, but its true. When we lose love, are on the verge of losing love, or are experiencing a hard time with love, we begin to question ourselves. Think about it…when rejected, you start to lick your wounds by asking yourself, “Why didn’t they like me?” No matter the answer, you’ve already begun looking inward, which could lead to a change of self. I’m not here to say that changes may or may not be necessary, I’m merely pointing out the rise or fall from confidence. Having experienced many heartaches, some of which I brought onto myself, I have learned this lesson the hard way. I've asked myself that one question, “why didn’t they like me?” My answer varies, but I am an honest person and I won’t shield my eyes from the truth about myself.
In my estimation, the problem with pain is the weakness of truth. A good portion of the emotional pain we experience, we bring onto ourselves. If someone continually mistreats you and you stick around for more…you’re just not looking in the mirror. Why do we put ourselves in negative environments? Why do we hope that we can take this negative and turn it into a positive, even though the negative doesn’t want to change? Lets come to grips with our reality and go back to that good old saying, “actions speak louder than words.”
Can’t all pain be conquered by your mind? Mind over matter? When I was younger, I would have thought this impossible. I remember when I broke my ankle, the pain was unbearable. I was in agony for months. A few years later I broke my foot, but playing in a championship soccer game seemed more exciting than sitting on side lines, so I played, broken foot and all. A few years after that, when I broke my arm, I spent 9 hours in urgent care, in pain, but laughing and joking with my mom, only to go snowboarding three days later. I fully understand that these stories are more reckless than anything else, but I was able to overcome the physical pain of my situation as I got older.
The emotional pain is worse. It’s not something you can fix with an ace bandage, some ice and a vicodin. The emotional pain rocks the core of who you are and it can lead you down dark paths of irrational thinking, in hopes that there will be a way out. The sad thing is, there isn’t an easy, quick way. Some emotional pain is obviously worse than others. A few years ago, I would have said that a breakup was one of the worst things that could ever happen to someone, but since then, having experienced something far more painful, I would say there are worse things. I don’t deny the loss of love and I still fully believe that it is one of the worst moments of a person’s life.
That song, “Love Hurts” is true. From the inner workings of a marriage to unrequited love, it hurts. This is the pain that gets you to question yourself, which can ultimately lead to your success or your downfall. Seems harsh, I know, but its true. When we lose love, are on the verge of losing love, or are experiencing a hard time with love, we begin to question ourselves. Think about it…when rejected, you start to lick your wounds by asking yourself, “Why didn’t they like me?” No matter the answer, you’ve already begun looking inward, which could lead to a change of self. I’m not here to say that changes may or may not be necessary, I’m merely pointing out the rise or fall from confidence. Having experienced many heartaches, some of which I brought onto myself, I have learned this lesson the hard way. I've asked myself that one question, “why didn’t they like me?” My answer varies, but I am an honest person and I won’t shield my eyes from the truth about myself.
In my estimation, the problem with pain is the weakness of truth. A good portion of the emotional pain we experience, we bring onto ourselves. If someone continually mistreats you and you stick around for more…you’re just not looking in the mirror. Why do we put ourselves in negative environments? Why do we hope that we can take this negative and turn it into a positive, even though the negative doesn’t want to change? Lets come to grips with our reality and go back to that good old saying, “actions speak louder than words.”
